Structure

20 10 2009

signA young boy who comes to church every week with his family always gets my attention. The whole time he is in church, he is glued to his mother. He is either standing with his arms wrapped around her or sitting in her lap or cuddled up in her arms. This young boy is about 9 years old. And then sometime during the service, he has to use the bathroom. Then his father has to take him out to the bathroom. If this was my kid, he would be talked to in no uncertain terms and told to keep his hands to himself.  He needs to sit up straight like a young man should and listen to the service. And he had better use the bathroom before he leaves home, because he is not going to use it while the church service is going on.

I may be wrong, but I doubt it. I never saw any reason for my children to hang on to me and made that very clear with them. I was not pushing them away or ignoring them. I was just simply being their mother who knew that was not the way they should act. And they all knew not to run to the bathroom when we went out in public. They could use the bathroom at home. Of course there were situations where they needed to use the public restroom, but these were few and far between. Everyone knew the rules and everyone followed them. Period.

Nowadays, the mothers can’t accept that these are children who need to be taught and taught well how to behave in all situations. They need to be disciplined when necessary and certainly need direction in the social behaviors. The adage that children should be seen and not heard is still relevant in today’s society. But you would never guess it to see the children in the movies or the churches or restaurants these days.

Parents should be responsible for their children’s behaviors in all situations. If they have not taught them well at home, then they should not take their children out into the public to disturb others.

I have heard the story that one mother asked her pastor when she should start disciplining her child. He asked her how old the child was. She said he was four years old. The pastor said, ‘you’d better hurry home. You are already four years late.’  This is so true. Give your child a shot at life. Give your child the opportunity to grow up and be a responsible citizen. Give your child the necessary discipline to allow him to grow into a responsible person. You owe this to your child. Every day.

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Bad Behavior and Personal Responsibility

23 09 2009

tantrumI am always spouting off about personal responsibility. Obviously, you cannot have personal responsibility if you have never been taught to have this. Parents are responsible for teaching all their children about taking care of themselves and being fully responsible for all their own behavior. This makes for responsible teens who do not get in any real trouble. And it makes for responsible adults who have good lives and nice families.

As I walked into the lobby of the school today, there was a young boy, kindergarten age, wallowing on the floor. His mother and teacher were both watching him as he whined and shed real tears because he did not want to attend school today. The boy even crawled over to the corner and stood up against the wall with his back to the adults. The teacher was obviously pretty exasperated. But the mother was begging, and begging, and begging the young boy to go to class. He looked over at me and grinned that grin that all spoiled kids  do when they know you are aware of their spoiled behavior. In other words, he knew that I knew he was just showing off, putting on, and getting his own way with all the attention he could possibly want.

And poor mother was put in a position of begging her wayward 5 year old to stop acting like a 2 year old. Poor Mother should have pulled him up off the floor and insisted that he go on to class. She should have let him know in no uncertain terms that it is his responsibility to act like a 5 year old and to attend the kindergarten class where he belongs. And then she should have turned her back and walked out the door. And she should have done this when he showed off and acted spoiled when he was 2 years old and 3 years old and 4 years old, too. He finally won this morning and poor mother took his hand, led him out the door, and even carried his back pack for him. Mother is not doing her son any favors by coddling him and making over him and begging him to act his age.

In fact, she is doing him a great disservice by refusing to make her son behave. Is he going to grin that spoiled grin behind her back and get into trouble when he is 15? Or when he is 25? When is she going to finally recognize that it is her role to be the mother and act like the mother and insist that her son act like a son should.

How is her son going to know about personal responsibility if she does not teach him? Is she expecting the teacher to be the one to instill this behavior? Or the principal? It is her job as his parent and first teacher to make sure that when her son walks out the door if it be age 5 or 15 or 25, that he is responsible for his own behavior. If she had been doing a good job, her 5 year old son would not today be wallowing in the school floor, crying fake tears, and whining.

It is up to the parents to teach personal responsibility to their children. And it must be taught every day in every instance. Day after day, year after year for all their growing up years.

If you expect your children to be responsible adults, you must teach them now – at home – to be responsible children. Personal Responsibility is an absolute must. And Responsible Parents always teach this to their children.