I am not a gard…

I am not a gardener by any means.  I cannot grow anything in the way of flowers or vegetables.  Just simply do not have it.  Period.  But I kept trying for years to learn how.  I bought all the easy to grow plants  and I tried to learn how to grow them without killing them.  But never worked for me.  Every time I planted a flower or a vegetable, the poor thing just leaned right over and died.

And I had such a time with bugs.  Bugs always ate me up every time I went outside.  They just love me.  I have spent whole summers going to the doctor’s office because of the whelps and blisters on my poor legs and feet.  And sometimes on my arms and hands.  Finally, one of the doctors told me to just stay on the concrete.  So I have done that ever since.  

But if I walk to the mailbox or to get the newspaper, a bug will find me and manage somehow to bite me before I can get back into the house.   And I know it is not in my mind because I can see the whelp or the blister or whatever it might be this time.

Anyway, I finally understand what is going on.  The bugs and flowers hate me.  That is the whole thing right there.  What happens is that I go outside to work in the flowers and all the plants get excited and pass the word that  ‘here she comes again. She is going to kill us all!’.  Then the bugs unite and come after me.  Thus the whelps and blisters.  

But guess what – I don’t bother those flowers anymore.  And I do not ever intend to.  So guess they won in their war against me and my killing thumb.  Oh well, I’ll find something else to work on.  May take up playing solitaire.   Or surfing the internet.  That sounds good.  Think I’ll do that next.