16 12 2011

Well, it finally happened.  I got up this morning and looked in the mirror and there it was – a wider part on the top of my head.  My part was much wider than it had been when I went to bed last night.   This tells me just one thing.  It is a plot; a planned discrimination against brown colored hair.  No doubt in my mind about that.

After thinking about this all day, I have come to the conclusion that I will have to be the one, the instigator, of a new government program against such discrimination.  Just simply cannot have this in my life.  So, I have come up with a name and have planned some of my strategy.  The name will be Suspicion Of Discrimination of Beauties Undergoing Loss of Brown Hair.  The shorter version will be simply called SODBULB.  That shouldn’t be too hard to remember.

First, I will have to contact my congressmen and insist that they add this new government program to their list of earmarks in the next bills coming up.  Then I will most certainly have to hire lawyers to represent this important issue.  That shouldn’t cost much, only about 50k or so to begin.  Then I will have to hire people to conduct studies to see why only brown haired women are subjected to this terrible travesty.  I looked around today and didn’t see even one blonde or one red haired person with the wide part on the top of their head.  Even the dyed brunettes did not have this.

Next, I will have to have a petition to circulate so that everyone will be aware of this program.  This will require that I hire an assistant.  I can cover the position of CEO easily but I will need an assistant to dial all those numbers of people I will have to call.  Each state will have to be contacted you know. In just no time, SODBULB will become a household word.  Oh yes, this means I have to contact all the media too.  How am I going to keep up with all these lists.   I know, just need another new phone.  That should do it.  With a calendar or two on it and a place to put lists.  Oh dear, so much to do.

Well, it certainly looks like I have my work cut out for me in the next few months.  Have to set my salary also.  That will take some figuring.  And expenses to cover. I can readily see how that money gets spent.  Just 50k here and another 50k there.  And some of those employees will cost  even more than that depending upon how much they know about the Parting of the Waves. Plus benefits of course.

Need to run out now to the office supply store.  I’m sure I will need some computer software and a calculator to add all these figures up.  While I’m out, I will have to stop at the Garden Supply Store also.  Don’t remember what for  but it will come to me I’m sure.

SODBULB, SODBULB, SODBULB.  Has a nice ring to it.  Probably have to get that name copyrighted.   Everyone will want to be using it.