A HOUSE OR A HOME?

11 01 2012

I read every day about the lovely houses for sale in my area.  Some of them are actual mansions fit for a king and queen.  But it makes me wonder about all these things.  Are these houses or homes?  Some have as many as 3 separate living areas.  Why?  I have been told that the reason for separate living areas is so the children can watch their programs or play the computer games, etc.   If I am in my living area, I want my children to be there, too. When we are all relaxing, why would I want my other family members to be in another room.  Much better to share the minutes and hours with each other.  How else do you get to really know each other.  I don’t mind watching games or watching the children enjoy themselves.   What is the big deal. I can always catch up on the news or weather later. Much better to share this time together.

When I was growing up, we didn’t have a separate living area nor did we have 8 bathrooms or whatever it might be today.  Why would my mother have wanted to clean all those.   And I want to share my kitchen with the children also.  I want them to enjoy their home.  This is what makes a home, not the number of rooms nor the rock or brick or mortar.  Nor the specially designed counter tops.

This is our home!  Not a house, but a real home where we can all share our time together.  We complain to each other of course.  Everyone does now and then.    But we still share our time and our thoughts with each other.  This is why our home is such a special place.  And this is why our children want to come home each day.  They prefer it here, not at a friend’s house.

Some days, I sure would like to go home again.  Back to where I grew up in that typical family consisting of a mother, father, sister, brother and grandmother.  It was a really great place to be all the time.  It was nice and happy, with the exception of the daily quarrels that all children have about chores and what to wear. But it was a place to share together while we were building a real family.  Wish I could open that screen door and go in to be with all of them just one more time.  Sure would be nice.

If  you want to experience some of that special family time that we lived during the late 30’s and early 1940’s,  just order my book entitled #2503 .  That was my address when I was growing up.   You can read about the fun and living history and great love we experienced in #2503.  In that place that was a real home and not just a house.

My books are each $10 including postage.  Just send check or money order to P.O. Box 2249, Benton,AR  72018.  Will get one of those special books right out to you.   You will love it.   Thanks,     Bet

 

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U S POST OFFICE

29 12 2011

Well, I warned you that I would give my opinionated opinions just as soon as I got around to it.  So here I am.

Went to the post office this morning to get my mail.  Ha!  3 letters, more advertisement than letter.  Almost no one working at my local station and lucky if we get any mail on some days.  Never on Saturday anymore.

I see on the television and in the newspapers that this is due to the internet. Not so!!!  The internet may have cut down some on the volume but not much.  Instead, the reason why the post office is in such bad financial shape is because of all those many, many benefits they promised to the workers many, many years ago.  For instance, when I was a younger person, the only way to go was to get a job with the government or the post office.  Both are in financial straits now as a result.

The post office was a prime job.  Took a long time to get a steady job there.  Had to be bumped and bumped over and over again, but if you kept at it, you would eventually land that prime job.  Then you were set for life – and I do mean life.  You could retire after 20 years and still be a young person and have a whole new life while you were  being paid that grand and glorious retirement stipend.  Many, many people did just that and are still collecting.

Not only did they get the retirement pay, but while still working, they got the vacation pay, the sick pay, the long vacations, (longer each year).  This was long before everyone else even dreamed of having all these benefits, but after all, the postman was the link to the world for a lot of people.  So they were glad their postman had such a good life.

The postal union raised its head all these years and made sure the employees got ever more and more benefits.  After all, no one ever goes down in pay or benefits.  Instead,  when contract time comes up, it is always time to ask for more and more salary and benefits.

Meanwhile, there were lots of people working for the post office.  Took a lot of hands to sort and deliver that mail.  After awhile, there was a post office on every corner and the mail was guaranteed to be delivered by early in the morning  My husband ran his business for years, always having his mail in his postal box by 9:30 in the morning.  Just watch and see what time you get it delivered nowadays.  It sure isn’t 9:30 in the morning anymorel

One of the employees told me recently that they are so slow because people are retiring or quitting and are not being replaced – anywhere.  So, guess what.  The taxpayer pays and pays again.   The stamp costs more and there is less service to everyone.

Now, I don’t know about anyone else, but I really don’t think it is my fault that the postal workers got so many benefits and salary raises over the years.  I really thought that was o.k. at the time.  But now – in this financial crisis – be assured that the reason is NOT the internet.  It is because they bit off more than they could chew many years ago and promised what they could not deliver.

They should have known better.  They were the delivery experts.





THIS SELF ESTEEM STUFF

1 10 2011

Although all my children are grown, I still enjoy reading the columns on raising kids that are in the newspapers.  I always think it is very interesting to see the various points of view.  I am certainly not an ‘expert’, but I really am, too.  I have raised quite a number of great, grand and wonderful children and have a lot of really, really nice grandchildren.  None of these people seem to have any bad behavior problems, nor any other special needs.

On this Self Esteem stuff I read about, I think that is a bunch of trash perpetrated on these poor, misinformed parents of today.  I never did want to spend my time and my precious life being a part of my children’s lives.  I took care of them, provided for them, made sure they were all warm, well fed, healthy, and happy and then I let them be their own people.  I did not want to play their games nor watch their television programs.  I wanted to be myself which is an adult and let them be themselves which was a child.

They didn’t want me hanging out with them and their friends and I didn’t want them hanging out with me and my friends.  I spent all day every day taking care of them, providing for all their needs.  But my time was mine and theirs was theirs.  We shared all the meals together, we went on vacations together, we sat around the table and visited whenever we wanted to.  I was always there when they came in from school and I sent them out to school every day that they went.  I did not park my children in the daycares and let other people teach them the necessities of life. My children were not regimented from their earliest moments.  They were good children, happy in their lives at home with me until school age at which time, they began to grow up.

By this time, they had managed to absorb most of the valuable lessons of life.  They had all the basics of good behavior and respect for their elders.  That included me and my husband and all the neighbors and family.  They knew where they stood in this world and were happy with their position.  As they grew, they also learned more and more about responsibility in their lives.  They had already learned all the basics about making their beds, keeping their belongings picked up, taking care of whatever they needed to do.  They also knew how to help around the house, doing specific chores when they were old enough.  They knew how to share without it being beat into their heads;  they knew what they were expected to do in their daily lives.  This was called responsibiiity.  It was taught early and was redundant at all times.

They never had to wonder where that Self Esteem was to come from.  They didn’t have to worry about trying so hard to please everyone because they automatically did that when they followed the rules of responsibility in their lives.

When they grew up, they accepted graciously what was asked of them in their grown up lives whether it was to raise their own children or perform well in a job market.  They never had to worry about Self Esteem because they earned their own Self Esteem.  Self Esteem comes from responsibility for their own actions.  Self Esteem is earned by each and every person as they grow up in this world.

Teach your child responsibility for his own actions and be consistent with it.  Be always kind but firm.  When he has learned the responsibilities in his life, he will have earned and rightfully so what Self Esteem is all about.  Give your child a chance at this thing called life.  Don’t live his life for him.  You have no right to it just as he has no right to your life.  You are the parent.  You make the rules.  Teach Self Esteem at home where it needs to be taught.  Another name for that Self Esteem Stuff is just simply responsibility.