WOULD LIKE TO GO HOME

4 09 2012

I sure would like to go home today.  Not to a house particularly, but to home in my heart.  I think of my parents and our life in their home and how happy we all were most days.  I sure would like to go back there sometime.  It was wonderful.

And I think of the little house we lived in as a young couple with 1, 2, and then 3 children.  That was a wonderful place, too.  Just those toddlers and their smiles and their cries and their learning, always learning.  Would like to see all that again, too.

And then next was the horrible place where everything went wrong all the time.  No money, a sick baby, run down house, lost everything.  Don’t want to ever go there again.  And hope I never do.

Next was a terrible rent house full of dirt and trouble also.  Still no money and an alcoholic lifestyle and trouble, trouble, trouble. Don’t miss that one, either.

Then when things got better, there was the house with all the children under my feet and the recovery of the alcoholic and the constant teaching of the damaged child.  It was a hard time, but not too bad.

And then we finally made it back to sanity and lived in a wonderful house with all those wonderful kids growing up and growing up way too fast.  The many carpools and meals to be prepared and washing to be done and vacuuming constantly.  Would love to go back and just visit there for an afternoon with all my children in the kitchen and lots and lots of noise and listening to all their conversations at once.  Absolutely wonderful.

Next was another really nice place but some of the children were gone now. Still miss them to this day, not for now, but for then.  Back to the times when they were growing up and stretching their long legs and big feet   under the table and learning to drive and write checks and learning everything.

And then to this big empty place where I am lost sometimes, looking for everyone.  I just wish I could go home, back where I belong, back to those places from before with all the children at home and all that noise and commotion and much too busy days.  I sure would like to go home.

If you would like to go home,too, then look at my books.  #2503 is the one about my parents and their home; In The 1940’s tells of those times growing up during the World War II years and loving every minute of it; The Wonderful 1950’s is all about those years before the troubles began when those toddlers were filling my days; and then The Real Story tells about those alcoholic years and the recovery and success afterwards.  It also tells of earlier years when my father was growing up and the tremendous success he obtained in his life, going from abject poverty to being a very successful individual.

All my books are $12 each including postage.  Or you can buy any 3 for $30 including postage.  Just send check or money order to BET, P.O. Box 2249, Benton, AR   72018.     Thanks.

Think I’ll go dream about going home now.   Sure would like to.





DEAR GOD: THANK YOU AGAIN

10 08 2012

A friend died last week.  He was also a neighbor.  Just an ordinary guy with a wife, 4 sons, and a small business.  He was a great father to those boys.  He was always taking them hunting or fishing or 4-wheeling.  He spent all his spare time with them teaching them all sorts of things that were important to him and to them.  They followed him around like ducklings, some even imitating his walk.  They were a true delight to see.

He was riding his motorcycle to work and didn’t see the car.  There was no way he could avoid the collision, and he was gone in an instant.  Seems like such an unnecessary loss.  But then, God always has His reasons for everything.  I try to remember that every day of my life.  So, although I do not know what His reasons are, I understand this is not all in vain.

For myself, I thank God for letting him cross my path in life.  He was a delight to know and I am sorry he is gone.  I will miss him.  So will a lot of other people.





HOPE AND CHANGE

9 08 2012

We have all heard a million times about hope and change.  Don’t really know what that means.  It took $68 to fill my car with gas this last weekend.  Guess that means I hope, I hope, I hope that changes soon.  Or maybe it means that I no longer get any change from my dollar bills.  Not sure which it means.  

I just hope that the change is that those who know the business start drilling for oil in this country so we can have some good, cheap gasoline in the next couple of years.  That shouldn’t be too hard to do.  There is enough oil below the ground to last us all the rest of our lives.   Why are we not using it!  It is time.  I am tired of hearing about the animals that we need to protect.   I’m sure you have seen the bears on the television screen who are so over-abundant that they are stealing candy from the candy store.  It is time to quit all this nonsense and get the good old U.S.A.back to being the country it has been for a long, long time.   Time for everyone to get up in the morning, put their shoes on and go to work.  Time to stop being important and go home and raise a family.  Time to start teaching the children what life is all about and that means responsibility, responsibility, responsibility.  

Maybe that is what is meant by the term, Hope and Change.  Sure hope so.  We sure do need some change.





WELL DUH!!!

5 02 2012

Read a big article in the local paper today that stated that not everyone needs to attend college or get a college degree.  Well, DUH!!!   I have been saying that for centuries.  That was well known back before the 1960’s crowd came along and decided we all were stupid and didn’t know how to do anything right.  Then, THEY all decided that everyone needed a college degree in order to dig a ditch.  Ever since then, all the education has been changed. Now, before a child knows how to read and write and do arithmetic, he must be geared up to attending college.  After all, this is the absolute end of the world.  And for some, it definitely is.

I went to high school and got a very good education.  That was all that was required back then unless you wanted to be a doctor or lawyer or candle maker or whatever.  Unless you wanted to go into the professions, then you didn’t need a college education.

BUT – and this is a really, really big BUT these days.  You do have to learn how to work.  At something, somewhere, sometime.  There are certain criteria that you must follow in order to be employed.  You must look presentable when you apply for a job.  And you must be willing to work at whatever job it is that you get.  Most young people are anxious to work at about age 16.  That is a good learning time for all young people.  Whether it is at a school or a restaurant or a car wash, everyone needs to get that first job.  And then they must learn how to satisfy the employer with their performance in that job.  Getting fired is a great learning experience.  Because then, you know what it is you have to do the next time in order to keep a job.

Today,most people have never worked.  They go to school and then to college – to get that wonderful degree.  And then, they are under the impression that people will be waiting outside that door just to give them a job.  That is not so.  And it will never be so.  Everyone has to earn that right to have a job.  And you do that with EXPERIENCE.  And you cannot get experience if you have never worked a day in your life.

Most people who complain that they cannot find a job have a false impression of themselves or their job.  A job is just simply that – a job.  It might not be the job you really want in life, but it is a beginning and you must start somewhere.

So, keep in mind that not everyone has to have a college education in order to have a job and draw a reasonable salary.  All you have to do is be presentable and apply yourself in the job.  Then you can make it in this world.  As you learn, you can move on to a better job until you find the one you are suited for.  This is what everyone wants in the world of jobs – a job that is satisfying and pays a decent salary.  What more can you ask for.

And you don’t have to have a college education in order to achieve that.   DUH!!!!





REMEMBER WHEN

23 01 2012

It’s been cloudy, foggy and wet all day here.  Makes me remember when I was a kid.  My father was gone to the big War and it was always cloudy, foggy and wet every day that year.  Or at least that was the way it seemed to me.  Seemed like every day was dreary.  I remember standing on the corner waiting for the city bus and being cold to the bone  And it wasn’t a whole lot different at home.  Mother tried very hard to make us all happy all the time.  But some days it was just a losing battle.  We all smiled and laughed and tried to have a good day or a good week or whatever.  But it was still hard.

We all missed Daddy a whole lot.  He was always the happy one in the family.  He sang and whistled until he just drove us all crazy.  And he could really tap dance and would do that occasionally. We missed Daddy and his smiles and his fun all the time.  But we really didn’t talk much about it.  Didn’t do any good anyway. Was still cloudy and rainy and foggy outside.

I remember a lot about those days and the challenges of the family unit.  Not only in my family but in all those around us.  Everyone was involved in that War.  It wasn’t just a War of a few people.  It involved the whole country and in fact the whole world.  Mr. Roosevelt talked on the radio and we all listened.  We read the newspaper until it had almost no print left.

If you would like to know more about the 1940’s times and what it was like then to be in the middle of that family and that War and that life, then by all means buy my book entitled In The 1940’s.  Only $10 each with postage included.  Great book. Have had lots of good comments about it.  Everyone seems to enjoy it a lot.  Can order from Amazon or from me at P.O. Box 2249, Benton, AR  72018.  Just enclose that check or money order and I’ll get your book right out to you.  You will definitely enjoy it!  You can look up my books at booksbybet.com    Thanks, Bet

By the way tomorrow would be my father’s 106th birthday!





SAME OLD BULL!!!

6 01 2012

Do you remember the bully from your school?  I do.  He lived next door to me and would wait for me as I walked to school.  He would then push me into a bush or against a building and demand my lunch for the day.  My mother had made that lunch for me and I held onto that sack for dear life.  I was not giving that to him no matter what!  He didn’t really want it anyway.  He just wanted to harass me.  In fact, he would throw the lunch away before he got to school.  That was why I tried to protect it so much.  He had no right to that lunch.   It was mine and I properly appreciated it.

He was going to have a hot lunch prepared for him at school.  It would be the ‘lunch of the day’ provided free to him and paid for with other people’s hard earned money.   He just simply  wanted what was mine, not because he was entitled to it, but simply because it was mine. And he would just take it, not because he needed it, but because he felt like I should not have it.  In fact, in his eyes, I should not have anything more than he had.  So he was the bully from my school.

A bully always just takes what he wants.  He shoves, pushes, and harasses just to get his way.  He thinks he is entitled to whatever he wants.  He never would consider actually working for it.   He just thinks – monkey see, monkey have.  That is the way most bullies think.

Reminds me of the  thinking of  bullies of today.  Everyone else is greedy.   Bully want.  Bully should have.  They don’t need it nor want it.  And would never consider working for it.  Same Old Bully!

 





PARTY, PARTY!

4 01 2012

My husband tells the story that when he was a young boy, his family had a New Year’s Eve Party.  Said he was so excited as was the rest of the family.  When the party got going pretty good, the women were all in the living room, visiting and laughing.  The men had all retired to the kitchen.  Most of them had a little too much joy juice by the time it got close to midnight.

As my husband watched, an uncle went to his car and came back into the kitchen with a gun.   A real gun!  He proceeded to load it and all the men were laughing about the possibility of midnight’s approaching.  Because when it got to be 12:00, the uncle was going to shoot the gun up into the air. Oh boy!  How exciting!.

When it got close to midnight, all the men went outside on the back porch laughing and joking about how they were going to scare all the women in the living room.

Then when one of them said, ‘It’s time, Midnight, ‘  the uncle raised the gun and accidentally shot down all the power lines down behind the house.   The neighborhood went dark.

Party Over!





THIS SELF ESTEEM STUFF

1 10 2011

Although all my children are grown, I still enjoy reading the columns on raising kids that are in the newspapers.  I always think it is very interesting to see the various points of view.  I am certainly not an ‘expert’, but I really am, too.  I have raised quite a number of great, grand and wonderful children and have a lot of really, really nice grandchildren.  None of these people seem to have any bad behavior problems, nor any other special needs.

On this Self Esteem stuff I read about, I think that is a bunch of trash perpetrated on these poor, misinformed parents of today.  I never did want to spend my time and my precious life being a part of my children’s lives.  I took care of them, provided for them, made sure they were all warm, well fed, healthy, and happy and then I let them be their own people.  I did not want to play their games nor watch their television programs.  I wanted to be myself which is an adult and let them be themselves which was a child.

They didn’t want me hanging out with them and their friends and I didn’t want them hanging out with me and my friends.  I spent all day every day taking care of them, providing for all their needs.  But my time was mine and theirs was theirs.  We shared all the meals together, we went on vacations together, we sat around the table and visited whenever we wanted to.  I was always there when they came in from school and I sent them out to school every day that they went.  I did not park my children in the daycares and let other people teach them the necessities of life. My children were not regimented from their earliest moments.  They were good children, happy in their lives at home with me until school age at which time, they began to grow up.

By this time, they had managed to absorb most of the valuable lessons of life.  They had all the basics of good behavior and respect for their elders.  That included me and my husband and all the neighbors and family.  They knew where they stood in this world and were happy with their position.  As they grew, they also learned more and more about responsibility in their lives.  They had already learned all the basics about making their beds, keeping their belongings picked up, taking care of whatever they needed to do.  They also knew how to help around the house, doing specific chores when they were old enough.  They knew how to share without it being beat into their heads;  they knew what they were expected to do in their daily lives.  This was called responsibiiity.  It was taught early and was redundant at all times.

They never had to wonder where that Self Esteem was to come from.  They didn’t have to worry about trying so hard to please everyone because they automatically did that when they followed the rules of responsibility in their lives.

When they grew up, they accepted graciously what was asked of them in their grown up lives whether it was to raise their own children or perform well in a job market.  They never had to worry about Self Esteem because they earned their own Self Esteem.  Self Esteem comes from responsibility for their own actions.  Self Esteem is earned by each and every person as they grow up in this world.

Teach your child responsibility for his own actions and be consistent with it.  Be always kind but firm.  When he has learned the responsibilities in his life, he will have earned and rightfully so what Self Esteem is all about.  Give your child a chance at this thing called life.  Don’t live his life for him.  You have no right to it just as he has no right to your life.  You are the parent.  You make the rules.  Teach Self Esteem at home where it needs to be taught.  Another name for that Self Esteem Stuff is just simply responsibility.





EATING WITH KIDS

28 09 2011

I saw an advertisement today that pictured a child refusing to eat his vegetables.  This brought up memories in my mind from times long ago.  Fancy that!  Anyway, in my family when I was growing up, there were several picky and I do mean picky eaters.  Too bad as far as I was concerned.  I was in the middle of my family and got to see all sides because of that position.

My mother had cooked a good meal every day for many, many years.  No matter the temperature nor the temperaments, she still hung in there and we had a great 3 meals per day.  My father worked nights so we ate a nice breakfast every morning while he was asleep.  Then we had a big lunch because he would be going to work at 3.  Then we had a nice supper because we had good leftovers from that big lunch.  So I knew all the food was very good.  I was never a big eater, but I enjoyed all that we had.

We would sit down to eat and one of those picky eaters would say, ‘what are we having that for?’  or ‘you know I don’t like this or that’.  Or  maybe it would be ‘do we have to eat that?’.  I got sick and tired of hearing that when I was growing up and told myself I would never have that at my house whenever I had a family.  And sure enough I never did.

I raised a big family and cooked all those meals, too.  And I never, ever had anyone sit down at the table and say they didn’t like anything that was offered to them.  They were good eaters and although some of them might not like something, they never complained.  I made it quite clear early in their lives that we did not complain about our food.  And so we did not complain about our food.

Just as I had done, they learned to eat turnips and squash and pickles and tomatoes, and different kinds of breads and meats.  Never hurt them one single bit just like it had never hurt me.  Sometimes, they would even say, ‘boy this is really good, mom’.  And their father taught them to say, ‘that was a good meal,’ or ‘thanks for the dinner, mom.’

Just like money, nice dinners don’t grow on trees.  Your children should be taught to be open to trying all sorts of foods and you should be making a decent meal every night or every day or whenever you can.  Teach them to appreciate whatever they have.  And that brings up all sorts of issues for another blog sometime.  Like clothes and furniture and cars, etc.  Just teach them to appreciate you and what you do for them and all the other blessings in their lives.





BIRTHDAYS AT MY HOUSE

20 09 2011

Hi again:  We have a lot of fun with birthdays at my house.  We also have a good time celebrating Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and all other necessary celebrations.  There are a lot of people in my family and so we really enjoy the visits with one another.  Everyone has such a good time just laughing and teasing and talking and visiting about everything from politics to old times.

We only celebrate birthdays every 3 months.  And it doesn’t have to be any particular time during that three months.  We might have it on the first weekend or the last weekend.  Never know.  We just try to do it when the most of us can come.  And then comes the presents.  And those are some presents, too.  We trade gifts back and forth.  I usually give the kids some money, but it isn’t much.  Then everyone usually gets some candy or treats of some kind.  After that, it is ‘hold the buggy, betsy!’  You just never know what might be in that sack.

For instance, one of my daughters and I trade a cheap, ugly statue back and forth, so we are going to get that if it is our turn.  That’s for sure!  Another child and I have been trading an ugly puzzle that no one could possibly work.  It is all in shades of black and gray and not even a good picture.  He originally got it at the dollar store, but we trade it every birthday.  Then, one son gave me a bag of plastic balls and said, ‘have a ball’.  Another time, I got a gold brick.  I have also received a stimulus check in the amount of $2 million.  I am still trying to cash that.  It came from one of my grandsons.

So, as you can see, presents are just for fun.   There is no great expense to this.  No one has to spend much money.  Sometimes they even make their own birthday cards with cutouts from magazines.  Always fun stuff.   We don’t usually put a limit on the money for birthdays.  No need to.  No one is going to spend much anyway.  And it is well known that not everyone has to get a gift for everyone.  Sometimes we have a lot of birthdays and there is no reason for anyone to be obligated.  It is all just for fun anyway.

I buy a cake at WalMart and put everyone’s name on it  Then we all sing, Happy Birthday to Everyone.  After that, we enjoy visiting some more and have our ice cream and cake or ice cream cones or whatever all those kids want at the time.  We have colas or tea or coffee to drink.  And a great time is had by all.

We do this same thing on other holidays.  Only we usually have a limit of $5 for gifts.  When my own children were younger, there was a limit of $1 for presents for Mother’s Day.  No reason to spend more.  I didn’t want anything anyway.  I usually got typing paper or envelopes or something in that range.  One year, my daughter who had grown up and was working went to get me a present for $1.  She saw a mirror that stood up in the bathroom.  It said, ‘Hi Gorgeous’ so that was what she wanted to buy for me.  When the clerk took her money, my daughter was laughing and saying that she was buying it for her mother for Mother’s Day.  This made the clerk mad and she said my daughter had no respect for her mother and made my daughter feel really bad.  I thought that was truly ridiculous.  Since when did the amount of money spent for a gift have anything to do with respect.  I treasured that mirror for many years.  It was always one of my favorite gifts.

So, next time you are thinking of giving a family party, you might want to bring out some of these ideas and use them.  Makes for a lot of fun and a very close family.  Have a Happy Birthday and make it fun this year.