THE KNITTER- THAT’S ME

4 05 2012

I have already told you how terrible I am at sewing.  Well, that is nothing to compare with knitting.  I had already taken classes in quilting and while there, they were demonstrating a knitting machine.  Well, that one was for me.  I could just see myself making all these beautiful sweaters for me and all my family.  Oh, what fun it would be.  And that wonder of wonders machine just did it all by itself, almost.  All I had to do was put it together, figure out what all that instruction meant and I would be in business.

Well, I bought the machine and paid for it up front because I just knew it would pay for itself real quick.  Then I bought all the attachments.  Not very much more. And then I bought all the yarn I would need to learn.  That wasn’t just a whole lot either.  And then I hurried home to begin knitting like a pro.  That’s what the lady told me.  She was the one who had sold me the machine.

I went back for the instructions that were included with the sale.  And I learned how to thread the machine with the beautiful yarn.  That wasn’t too hard to learn.  See, I just knew I could do this one. Now, all I had to do was learn the terminology – that foreign language- that everyone else seems to be born with.

I put the thing-a-ma-jig on the machine and threaded the yarn through all the holes they had told me.  Then I ran the thing across the carriage and it worked!  Oh boy! I was really going to love this.  I practiced quite a lot on moving that thing across the needles. And it worked every time.  I wasn’t making anything yet, but I was on my way. No doubt about that.

Then I actually made a sweater for myself at the knitting machine shop.  It would have been perfect except for those little holes here and there.  But I figured I could probably repair them only I didn’t know how, so guess I will just forget that anyway.  Too busy learning other things by this time.  I suppose I could iron some flower patches on those holes and the sweater would be good enough to wear at home – if I took up painting the house.

But I moved on.  Nothing was going to stop me now.  I did make quite a few things, just nothing that was worth wearing.  I made one of the children a little dress and it was really cute.  Sort of crooked, but cute.  And I made a couple of throws, just straight knitting for that.  They didn’t look very good but hey – I’m just learning here.

The only problem was that I was always learning, still learning.   I moved the knitting machine to another room where I could see out the window while knitting.  And then in the Spring, my neighbor sat on his deck right in front of the window.  I’m sure he thought I was spying on him but I wasn’t.  I was there first, you know.  But it sort of took the fun out of reacting to my mistakes if someone could see me scream.

I kept on trying and trying and trying, but I wasn’t much smarter at knitting than I was at sewing.  I finally decided to move it down to the laundry room where I spent a lot of time every day anyway. This thing takes up a lot of room, about 8′ across the room by the time you have to have enough room to remove that thing-a-ma-jig that sometimes reaches the end of the machine.  Sometimes I have to put it back on without losing any stitches and that is almost impossible.  In fact it is impossible.  And if anyone started talking to me while I was knitting, I would invariably drop a stitch and then the conversation would be over and I would be upset and that was enough of that.

I finally moved it all the way out to the garage and took it apart.  I had all sorts of attachments by now and lots and lots of yarn.  I told a lady where I had bought some yarn that I was interested in selling it.  She just could not believe anyone would want to sell their knitting machine.  So I sold it all to her. Gladly.

Think I’ll take up gardening.  I know how to dig holes and watch dead flowers.  I can do that really well.

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One response

5 05 2012
Rhonda

I wonder if she is still enjoying it . . . .

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