14 04 2012

I really do have to thank Almighty God every day for keeping me sane – if I am.  Seems like there is always something going on.  This past week has been one of those weeks and every day has brought new challenges.

For instance, I found out just this morning that it is not a good idea to put your blouse on  and comb your hair and spray it and all that good stuff and then find out that the blouse is on wrong side out.  Obviously, this called for me to have to redo my hair and turn the blouse right side out and get it on again.   Stupid!  But that was a good start to another interesting day.  As usual.

Also, just read that a clear conscience is a sign of a fuzzy memory.  Boy, is that one ever true.  If I ever have time before I lose all that fuzzy memory, I plan to sit down and think through my whole life and see just how many mistakes I have made.  There are a whole lot I am sure.  Some deliberate, some honest, some just plain mean, and some because it was always someone else’s fault.  That’s the best excuse always anyway.  Have to move that one up front and start using it again.  If the politicians can use that one, so can I.  Works for them.  Why not for me.  Always remember, it is someone else’s fault, no matter what it might be. Only problem is trying to convince myself and others that this is true.  May not use it after all.  Sounds like a lot of work to me.  My mother always said, ‘Tell the truth the first time and then you don’t ever have to worry about what to say the next time.’

Decided to see about moving to another place  this past week.   Did all the research, talked to everyone about it and then asked God to please help me to make the right decision.  I knew that somehow because of the feeling I would have, I would know what to do.  I met the owner and walked through the house.  Then I walked through it once again.  So far, so good.  Then I went outside and walked around and still had a good feeling about everything.  Then I walked back into the house and immediately I had an overwhelming feeling of loneliness.  Don’t know that I ever had that feeling exactly like that before.  That is not a normal feeling for me.  I am always surrounded by people and never have a feeling of being lonely.  But this was what that house felt like.  I could almost touch the feeling because it was so strong.  I turned and just said I was not interested and left the house.  But it took me quite awhile to get over that strange feeling that I had experienced while walking through that house.  I just knew absolutely that that particular place was not for me.

The only feeling like that ever experienced by me was when I went to my grandparents house for a week when I was 4 years old.  My brother who was older  was also with me.  My grandfather worked for the railroad and we actually rode a train to their town and then they drove us back home a week later. I’m sure it was an exciting, wonderful trip, but all I wanted was to go home.  Back where I belonged.  I remember standing in the bedroom and crying to myself because of that feeling of homesickness or loneliness that I felt.  This was sort of the way I felt about this house I was looking at.  Except that this time, it truly overwhelmed me.  Just covered me up completely.

All this probably sounds stupid to some people, but I really trust in God to show me the way through my life.  I really depend upon Him every day to keep me on the path He has marked out for me.  And that new place was definitely not what He wanted me to do.  Oh well, just have to wait until He tells me what to do.

Meanwhile, I am still trying to remain sane in my everyday life.  Hope I make it.  Sometimes I wonder if I will.  First thing tomorrow is to watch for that tag on the blouse so I won’t put it on wrong side out or backward.  At least that will help get the day off on the right foot – if I remember which is my right foot.



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