29 02 2012

I was just thinking this morning about things in general.  I really  think too much.  Gonna’ wear this brain out sometime.  But I’m always thinking about something, either something to write about or something I need to do, just stuff.  And I’m always remembering things, too.  That’s good most of the time.  Have good memories of all kinds, lots of funny ones and lots of simple ones.

Well, this time, I was ironing as usual in the afternoon.  With a houseful of kids, there was always lots and lots of ironing to do in the afternoons.  I never was one to watch the TV much, so I was usually just thinking.  I was about 35 years old and realizing that I never seemed to satisfy everyone although I tried all the time.  And I really did try to keep everyone sane, satisfied, and on a normal track.  And believe me, that ain’t easy sometimes.

So, here I was, 35, thinking about how I just couldn’t seem to get things right all the time.  But then, it crossed my mind that I really was not in charge of keeping things perfect all the time anyway.  I tried and that was what was so important in all our lives.  As long as I was trying, I was open to ideas and changes.  And then I thought to myself, ‘you know, I really like me.  I like the person I have become and I like my ideas and my ideals.  And I like everyone around me, too.  All these little kids and big kids running around here and my husband who tries every day just like I do’.     And then I was thinking some more along those same lines and I thought, ‘you know, I like the way I dress and the way I look and the way I act and all the things I manage to get done every day.’

‘Yep, I like me just fine.  Just the way I am.’   For some reason, that ironing chore went really fast that day.   And ever since that day, I quit worrying about what someone else might think of me or whether or not they agreed with my ideas or my ideals.   I never let any of that worry me again.

I really do like me.  And I still do all these years later.  I have never seen any reason why I should change much.  I just like the ME to the core.  And that’s nice since I have to live with me every day.