THIS SELF ESTEEM STUFF

1 10 2011

Although all my children are grown, I still enjoy reading the columns on raising kids that are in the newspapers.  I always think it is very interesting to see the various points of view.  I am certainly not an ‘expert’, but I really am, too.  I have raised quite a number of great, grand and wonderful children and have a lot of really, really nice grandchildren.  None of these people seem to have any bad behavior problems, nor any other special needs.

On this Self Esteem stuff I read about, I think that is a bunch of trash perpetrated on these poor, misinformed parents of today.  I never did want to spend my time and my precious life being a part of my children’s lives.  I took care of them, provided for them, made sure they were all warm, well fed, healthy, and happy and then I let them be their own people.  I did not want to play their games nor watch their television programs.  I wanted to be myself which is an adult and let them be themselves which was a child.

They didn’t want me hanging out with them and their friends and I didn’t want them hanging out with me and my friends.  I spent all day every day taking care of them, providing for all their needs.  But my time was mine and theirs was theirs.  We shared all the meals together, we went on vacations together, we sat around the table and visited whenever we wanted to.  I was always there when they came in from school and I sent them out to school every day that they went.  I did not park my children in the daycares and let other people teach them the necessities of life. My children were not regimented from their earliest moments.  They were good children, happy in their lives at home with me until school age at which time, they began to grow up.

By this time, they had managed to absorb most of the valuable lessons of life.  They had all the basics of good behavior and respect for their elders.  That included me and my husband and all the neighbors and family.  They knew where they stood in this world and were happy with their position.  As they grew, they also learned more and more about responsibility in their lives.  They had already learned all the basics about making their beds, keeping their belongings picked up, taking care of whatever they needed to do.  They also knew how to help around the house, doing specific chores when they were old enough.  They knew how to share without it being beat into their heads;  they knew what they were expected to do in their daily lives.  This was called responsibiiity.  It was taught early and was redundant at all times.

They never had to wonder where that Self Esteem was to come from.  They didn’t have to worry about trying so hard to please everyone because they automatically did that when they followed the rules of responsibility in their lives.

When they grew up, they accepted graciously what was asked of them in their grown up lives whether it was to raise their own children or perform well in a job market.  They never had to worry about Self Esteem because they earned their own Self Esteem.  Self Esteem comes from responsibility for their own actions.  Self Esteem is earned by each and every person as they grow up in this world.

Teach your child responsibility for his own actions and be consistent with it.  Be always kind but firm.  When he has learned the responsibilities in his life, he will have earned and rightfully so what Self Esteem is all about.  Give your child a chance at this thing called life.  Don’t live his life for him.  You have no right to it just as he has no right to your life.  You are the parent.  You make the rules.  Teach Self Esteem at home where it needs to be taught.  Another name for that Self Esteem Stuff is just simply responsibility.

Advertisements

Actions

Information

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: